GoW: Inside Out and Behind
by Sonamylover444
Summary: Sarah Audrey, a female gear, has finally lost her husband to his own stubborness; being stuck between guilt and lust for another gear. She decides it's okay to let herself go for once, but will the man she wants accept her feelings?


The night's fresh moon edged itself over blended clouds that painted the sky above her. The stars pierced the navy dark night as she tried to cry herself to sleep but all she could think of was her dead husband.

Sarah Audrey lay down in the sand on the beach as the warm breeze blew across her aching body. Covered in blood, head throbbing, and every muscle in her body shot with immense pain. All she could do was lay there and watch as the night drifted into day.

She was tired and fatigued but her mind was in other places. The water barely touched the toe of her boots as her heels dug deeper into the wet sand. She had been like this for nearly an hour. Frozen in shock and fear.

What could she do now? The last thing she had was gone, but what she had lost had also caused her a lot of pain. She'd been told many times before to just let him go, but they didn't understand her feelings. She wished she could switch places sometimes; just to show her comrades what is was like.

In and endless war between monsters that seemed to thrive, sometimes the only thing you had was the thing that hurt you the most. But now it was just cold and empty inside her body. She felt guilty of so many things right then; things she never had time to replay in her head or even recall just for a second to fill a moment of silence.

She replayed the scene over and over inside her disturbed brain; the images crystal clear in the back of her mind, her eyes wide open and her body motionless. She could see the grubs just ahead of her cover; she counted 13 of them, all shooting at her and the rest of her squad, including her husband. Killing two grubs she looked over and took a recon of everyone, when she saw her husband all she could see were his footprints that embossed the dirt floor. She looked for him franticly and when she had found him, he had his chainsaw embedded inside a locust, but before she could cover him he was shot down at the side by another grub.

_But that was just you, a pig headed-_

She couldn't think of the word to add to that.

Each single image stayed glued to the sides of her throbbing head, all she wanted to do was forget, but when you couldn't sleep you thought, and that's all you did.

Sleep was a luxury now, you took it and grabbed it when you got the chance, but not just because you got rest but also because you got to forget what the world was like now, but only for a little while. You got to dream of the things you missed dearly, some good, some bad. A wife that waited at home for you after work, kids that you got to go pick up after school, even a dog who you could throw a tennis ball to and he would bring it back. It all had its place in the world at one time or another. But now everything was just a distant memory, but you never forgot those simple things.

_No... not simple, simple is just a word that means easy. Nothing could have the word simple in it anymore._

Sarah finally pulled away just long enough to push herself up off the sandy ground below her. She let the cool sand run through the spaces between her fingers. It felt wonderful to her. But just as quickly as she had pulled away she was reeled back in.

_You were so easy to get pissed off, and no matter what it was, if it hurt me you didn't care, but if it was you, I had to learn my lesson, as you put it so bluntly. All I did was love you and care for you, but after so long... the love just faded from us. Was it what happened so long ago? What was it... what made you grow so angry?_

She could feel warm, bitter tears staining her momentarily dry cheeks. She had managed to stop crying for what was a short moment, but she knew the tears would return again. As warm and wet as they were she couldn't feel the emotion that caused them. Only confusion and regret and everything else stirred in, she felt she didn't have a good reason to cry unless she detected the right feeling to trigger it.

She wiped her face as she looked to the sky again, almost looking for an answer in the stars that mocked her.

She cried out as the tears hit the sand and sank into it quicker then they ran down her cheeks. Everything hit her like a bunch of bricks falling from the sky.

_Dear god, he's really gone... he really is gone... he always intimidated me to the point of insanity, I wanted to breakdown and cry, I never felt good enough for him; hell I'm one of the few goddamn women that remain alive nearly... but... I'm free... wait, no, don't fucking think like this! You always know where it leads._

Sarah grabbed at her hair as she pulled on it. It didn't hurt, hell; she couldn't feel anything from the numbness inside her heart that seemed to take over her entire body. All she could feel was a strange tingling sensation ravage through her. But she would have rather felt numb than to feel a deep endlessness that she knew would never go away.

_No feeling at all is better than the worst find of feeling there is. I like to pride myself on the words that keep me going, is that so wrong? That's what I did when he grew angry at me. He found all that smut and all I did was sit there because he would tell me these things and then he would hold a grudge for so long. I never understood why he yelled at me for the way I felt. It wasn't fair._

Sarah kept wondering off far beyond her mental limit. Eventually she would be stuck in that same pit of moral insanity that just loved to trap her.

_I'm a fool, but everyone, no matter how cruel deserves to be loved, right? All those stories I read... They had the same kind of feeling inside the pages. The characters and plot. Everything surrounded the rawness of one of those characters._

_But those were just stories... This is real, but isn't life just one big story?_

She chewed this thought over for a moment. Pondering all the questions that tore her up inside. They had no clear answer to offer and it burned her to the core. She grew angry and sorrowful all at once, aside from the other feelings she had inside that had backed down for just a moment.

She realized that she would never find those answers; that they would just linger inside her worn out heart. It still beat inside her, but just not for the right reasons anymore.

Her eyes grew wide as her mouth became agape. It all flowed back to her; she had been used, so many times in her life just to have the love and then the quick change of an asshole that only cared for himself half the time. The blood inside her veins surged and rushed. Her heartbeat became more rapid as she started to cry out like a small child who was lost in the midst of millions of strangers.

But she wasn't lost beyond people, only restless memories that always found a way to resurface after countless times of putting them down like rabid dogs.

Apparently she was loud enough because she could hear footsteps against the Earth; her ear barely touching the sand made it easier to hear them. She had lay down again during her breakdown that she had desperately needed. Years of repression made a nasty person out of you.

When she looked up she could see a group of Gears off in the distance. It was Delta squad. Marcus, Dom, Cole, the whole lot of them. But Baird was the one who caught her eye the most. She could feel the guilt creeping back up on her again. This is where half her pain came from. The feelings she had for the blonde soldier. She knew him better than most of the other Gears she had met, partially because she specialized in engineering like he did which got her ahead of everyone else. She worked in the shops just like he did which got her physically closer as well.

But it wasn't just that. It was that face, that body. The feelings had returned again, back to the surface of the muddy waters. Her heart once again ached, not that it had ever stopped. She felt guilty because she had wondered away from her partner and instead found refuge in someone she could relate to.

She remembered so many times that she had come to him inside the stores; he always told her the same thing._ "Just try and get away, that's what I would do."_ But it was Damon Baird, it was his answer to everything. _What would he do?_ Even as _simple_ of an answer as it was, it seemed to work as a consoler for her broken heart. Maybe it was just hearing his voice, or seeing him face to face.

Whatever it was, it worked well. She noticed she had been staring blankly for a good few minutes; Baird had even waved his hands in the air to try and grab her attention. He finally made his way over to her and met her eyes. Since she had brown eyes there wasn't much to usually see inside them, but when you were empty it was so much different.

She didn't even look alive anymore, only desolate, like a barren landscape after being torn apart by human kind, the waters taken from the ground leaving only torched landscape as a base for life, like the blood inside a living person being drained from the veins.

It was funny how true of a statement that was in this time and life.

"Audrey, you there? Hello?" Baird's voice rang in her ears as she moved her head slightly up to see his face fully. His gorgeous blue eyes, that face... everything she had ever dreamed of was right in front of her.

He spoke to her in his normal tone, as he did she beckoned him to come closer to her. He obliged as he gave her an odd look of confusion and discomfort. Before he bent down to meet her level he looked back and saw Dom, Marcus and the rest of the group gathered around what appeared to be a fire. It was one of those nights that they rarely saw anymore, a night to tell stories and pour your heart out to each other. And to some it was just a night around a campfire. Nothing fancy.

Baird got on his right knee in a proposal position. "What is it? I'm kind of needed elsewhere right now since, well... I'm the life of the party." He half-smiled at her as she just stared him down with a cold, piercing look. Not even a look, just a feel.

She reached out a weak, shaking arm and grabbed his bicep and squeezed it as tight as she could, there was hardly any pressure. When she did she moved her face closer as Baird froze and the half-smile faded from his lips. Before he could think he felt her warm breath on his lips.

"You were right Damon, I just had to get away... but it looks like I didn't have to run at all. I just had to wait until I was freed."

There had been other conversations with the man in front of her that had brought her to this conclusion. Others that had saved her life, at least to her.

After she spoke her soft lips pushed onto his in a feeble kiss, it wasn't sheer weakness, only a conscious feeling of being careful of how far she went with him. He didn't mind dealing with her, surprisingly he didn't seem to mind having her around at all. It was like how he was with Cole. A friend was a friend. But Baird usually had nothing to do with women.

But now that she was free in her own form and way, she may have realized she wanted something more all along, but she never had the chance to reach it because she was always held down by the same man that felt he had to control her.

But he was dead now, dead and gone, but not forgotten. He would always be there, burning the harsh memories deep into her brain. Branding them so she would never forget, but the dead were never forgotten. The feelings were even worse with the dead on your mind.

But they were _dead..._

But it was time to fly again, to spread the wings that had been under wraps for so long, she had been punished so many times before if she tried to soar beyond his limits, but not now, not ever again.

It had only been a few seconds, and Baird hadn't pulled away. Maybe he was in shock; hell, she could only guess what was running through his head.

_You're so stupid, you dumb bitch_

She scolded herself for feeling what she did and for doing what she was doing. Eventually she broke the kiss as she stared at the ground.

Baird looked at her but he just looked normal, no expression change or anything showed on his face; Just the same little wrinkles that had always been there.

He was the first to say anything.

"Lets go join the rest of the group, we'll talk more tonight, I can tell you need it. Not that I'm a mind reader or anything." He heaved her up by the arms. She didn't know if it was delirium or maybe that she was going crazy then, but she could of sworn that Damon Baird had just invited her to join his squad for a nice evening together near a warm fire, and that he had just glided past the fact that she had just kissed him.

As they made their way, she felt her legs moving automatically against her own will power. The only thing that ran by her will right then was her brain, the part of it that controlled emotions at least. And she felt the most guilty, lustful, sorrowful mix of shit she had ever before known.

Maybe she was going, as Baird called it _"batshit crazy."_

****Part 2****

Sarah looked around her as she felt the warm breeze blow through her stringy hair; again, it was a wonderful feeling apart from the craziness of the past day. The night was young but it felt as if had been going on forever.

When Baird and she reached the campfire she immediately recognized the faces of a few of her squad mates that had been with her that day. They knew what she knew when it came to her deceased husband, besides them, she could see Marcus, Dom, Cole, even Anya and Sam were there.

The fire roared as she found herself a nice spot between Cole and Baird as he sat down with her, she was almost squished by the two men, but Cole scooted over just enough to suit her small size.

"Hey Audrey, you been down here all night?" Cole smiled at her and offered her one of his ration packets. He was just being a gentleman. She had her own food so instead denied his kind offer. Maybe he thought she was hungry.

_Why couldn't you have been like Cole here? A sweet man who was raised right... Wait, you were... but only for a little while._

Here she went again, scolding her husband beyond the grave, if he were listening he would hear every damn word she had to say, but only inside her head. It was safe there; no one else could hear her thoughts. But maybe she wanted them to. And tonight was perfect to do such a thing.

As she sat there staring into the fire all she could do was think about everything in her life that had happened. Being a former stranded didn't help much, but she had made something of herself once she joined the COG. Both her parents died before she was 16, so scratch that; orphan stranded.

_I remember when we were so happy; my first day here is when you found me. So sweet and cheerful, and then years later you just turned so... sour. You may have only been a boyfriend, but you were my husband, you couldn't get married now even if you tried, you just were or you weren't._

Cole looked down and looked at her right bicep. "Hey, that's a nice tattoo, who's _James?"_

She than remembered the tattoo of his COG tag with his name and identification number on her arm. He really was never going to be forgotten. When things where going well, she decided that she wanted a specific tattoo to remember him, not just his first name like some Gears did.

The nerve had been struck, cut loose, and run over a million times, or at least that's how it felt right then. But it was Cole, sweet, sweet Cole. If he ever did wrong, it was a huge accident.

"Oh, um, he was my husband." Sarah clasped her hands together and kept staring into the fire, some of the others turned, but only the ones who had saw the sequence of events that day. They looked at her with remorse and whatever else seemed appropriate then; Thomas O'Neil, Luis Lowry, and her best friend Sam Byrne. They had seen it all.

Sam had done the tattoo for her in the first place. So she knew the main reason behind it. But everything else was a mystery.

Cole suddenly looked at her with a guilty expression.

"Oh, hell, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Before he could finish she put a hand on his shoulder and mustered a weak smile.

"It's okay, Cole, I'm doing okay, but for different reasons. But I might just tell a few stories tonight."

She knew she would be telling more than one probably; she was ready to let herself go and tell the world her secrets. Not really secrets, just feelings that had never surfaced because they were always held down.

But it was time, her time to tell the world.

During her train of thought Marcus who was trying to make the moment less awkward interrupted her. That was a big surprise for everyone.

"So, what's new?" He waited for someone to answer him; maybe Cole would cough up and share a good laugh with everyone.

Sarah took her chance and quickly turned the conversation back to its awkward stages.

"Well, this is just so everyone knows, but I lost my husband today. Not sure how I feel though, he was an ass a lot of the time but he was my ass."

It was the most nervous sounding, messed up thing Sarah had ever said in her life. But again, some of her squad mates understood her completely; even Baird could say he knew what she was talking about if someone asked.

"The tattoo Cole pointed out was given to me by Sam, when James and I were happy. It's funny though, being in war and having your husband nearly being your worst enemy, if he didn't look human I'd have called him a grub myself."

She had dropped the bomb on people who just stared at her like she was a crazy motherfucker. Again, with the whole switching places thing. But that was impossible.

"But what can I say now, he's dead." Sarah said those words as cold and sharply as she could of said them. Almost like she was trained to say them over and over again. But it felt good to let the words escape her mouth for once. Without knowing the man she was intimidated by was right under her nose listening and making her feel like shit for even thinking that way.

_You can't stop me now... You're dead; you died because you were so damn stubborn._

Then, before she could go on talking to herself in her own little world Cole asked the obvious question.

"Well, what did he do if you don't mind me asking?"

She didn't mind at all, she wanted to tell her stories to the group, as long as they wanted to listen. The night was young and she had all the time in the world.

"Well, he was more like a parent then a lover in my opinion, but this happened only after a few years of being in the COG together. At first we were quite normal, but then it just escalated to a weird, awkwardness and our love just became a relationship that seemed to mean just dealing with each other."

Cole listened to her like a trained dog listening to his owner for a command. He was as attentive as they got, and she liked that.

_Such a good listener, but you... you just heard what you wanted and then went on with what suited you best. I always listened when you poured your heart out to me._

"He also liked to look at smut that he managed to keep his hands on, I hated it but he could of given two shits. He even cheated on me once, but I forgave him and we went on."

Sarah looked around and found that everyone was listening to her, she actually felt like she was being heard, and she was.

Baird even had his head tilted to look at her. Everyone's eyes were glued onto her.

After many stories of her life, and countless questions that she answered as best she could she found herself empty and running out of things to say. It had been nearly an hour now but she had still given others their turn to talk in between her stories.

Dom even told some stories about things you never thought would be out in the open. Stories of his wife and children, stories of his early commando days. Anything he could think of, and maybe, just maybe, he was following her example and letting out all the emotions locked up inside

The entire time she listened and talked when it was quiet. She had occasionally put her eyes towards Baird who had never looked away once from her unless someone else was talking. It didn't bother her, but intrigued her immensely. Baird didn't usually listen to someone for more than 10 seconds at the most. And when she thought more into it she felt the guilt and lust return once again.

When James had started to fall away from her she found comfort in Baird that seemed impossible to find in him. She felt warm when she was near him, happy when he was an asshole just to be funny, but...when she had to return to _him._ All that faded away. She only felt for Baird because he was like James in many ways, but he lacked in others that should have never been there. She was guilty of the feelings she held inside her heart, ones that wanted to be released and now she had her chance.

She was guilty, but only because she had fallen in love with Damon Baird.

The lust was for him now; it would have never been this way if she were treated right. She was a goddamn human, with feelings, not a sick dog that couldn't do anything about it. And maybe she should have done something long before she developed her feelings like she had.

But when that warm feeling just seeped out of you, you had to find a way to get it back. After all, she was human.

A human with feelings, a beating heart; one that had beaten for a long lost lover that would never return.

And it hurt more than anything she knew. And then she realized that what she wanted all along was right next to her.

She just had to figure a way out to capture him.

And she wasn't going to let him get away.

****Part 3****

Eventually the fire died down and Marcus emptied out his canteen onto the remaining flicker as he stood up and adjusted his belt. "I think we should head back, it's late now."

It had been a while; the group had shared many stories she thought she'd never hear, but then again, she had done the same. Sarah stood up and stretched out as a small groan escaped under her breath. Everyone else followed and stood up; in the darkness it was hard to make some people out, the only thing she could see clearly was the bright blue lights on Clay Carmine's helmet and a few of her friends' armor.

The naval base was just up the road from the coast that they had been hanging out at all night. Once again she heard the heavy foot steps in the sand. Instinctively she followed the group and headed to the base.

Later when they arrived everyone headed back to their rooms. It was going to be a real odd night for her since her husband was gone; his bunk vacant, and god knows who would fill it for him.

She headed into her room and sat down on her bunk as she removed her armor and set it aside for tomorrow morning. She was alone, but she didn't mind, she had arrived to the base before the rest of her squad.

It was going to be a _long_ night. But maybe she would catch some sleep and even a peaceful dream that wasn't invaded by unwelcome nightmares.

Maybe, just maybe…

It hadn't been long since Sarah piled herself into bed. The rest of her squad joined her as they went to bed, no one seemed to want to sleep right then though. Sam was above her while she lay awake staring at the bare bottom bunk above her.

She was bored once again, but how could she be with all the crap that had happened that day. She thought that maybe she had managed to repress it all just for the while. Being bored was a good thing right then, even if she didn't catch sleep.

She tossed and turned and tried to sleep but she just couldn't stop her mind from reeling through all the things she had seen and heard today. Including the words that had come out of her mouth. Now all she could think about was Baird.

She had managed to forget about a certain someone who was gone now. Well, at least for now. If she ended up going to hell for this, she was going to be just fine.

Her mind only had images of the handsome soldier. It was sinful but it felt so good to think of him without the weight holding her down anymore.

She wanted Damon; she wanted him so bad. The things she wanted from him and to do to him were dirty and evil. But she could think this way now; it was all right now... wasn't it?

_It's been so long... since I last did this..._

When she thought everyone was asleep she got up from her bunk and headed to the bathroom, which was also the showers.

When she entered she turned on the overhead lights that just barely lit the room enough for her to see. She could hear the dripping of a faucet that hadn't been fully turned off in one of the showers.

After heading to turn off the faucet she sat down on the benches and stripped herself of her sleep clothes; if a tank top and shorts was considered sleep clothes.

She stripped herself down to her bra and panties, and before she could even think about it she found her finger tracing the area around her opening. She was moist and in heat; all she could think about was a certain man who always found his way back into her thoughts.

Oh how she wanted him. Her tracing became faster as she grew wetter, it was such a dirty thing she was doing. She could still remember the last time she did this, and oh... how good it felt.

She slowly inched off her panties and threw them on the small pile of clothes that had formed on the bathroom floor. Now almost completely naked all she had left was to remove her bra. She had always been self-conscious about her body, hell; what woman wasn't? She was curvy and small, but not that curvy. Her breasts were a decent size, enough to grip in the hands, and she had hips that demanded attention. Being in the COG required you to stay fit and in shape, and she was right where she needed to be.

Once she unhooked the clasps the bra fell to the floor; she was exposed completely, Her nipples were half-hardened as she continued to pleasure herself. Slowly inserting a finger inside herself just made her grow hotter, than one became two, and two became three.

She could feel how tightly she wrapped around her fingers. She wondered if Baird would find her "fitting" enough. But there she went again, having fantasies in a world of her own.

As minutes passed she begin to grow closer to her climax, her mind remained foggy with pictures and images of things she dreamed of dearly. The touch and feel of his hands on certain places; those wonderful lips. She wanted to feel them again and more. But here she was, dreaming away and all she could do was hope that it would one day happen, if she didn't die first, of course.

As she moaned in the bathroom it echoed but she managed to keep herself at a certain volume level, no matter how much she wanted to scream or call out his name she couldn't. It was torture for her. Then she heard footsteps and she panicked.

She scattered herself as she struggled to pick up her clothes and try and hide away in one of the stalls. She balanced herself over the toilet, which was like something you saw in a fucked up porno. But it was either this or a locker.

The footsteps grew louder, and then she heard it, the unzipping of a pair of pants and the sound of a man taking a leak in the urinal next to the stalls; sometimes she really hated the fact that the men and women had to share the bathroom/lockeroom.

She kept as quiet as she could, and as she did she heard that voice that she knew all too well.

_"Ahhhhh...Much better."_

_Baird._ The irony was so weird that it scared her even. But now all that was on her mind was how close she was to him.

She heard the urinal flush and the sound of a zipper being pulled up and then the same footsteps as before, but they trailed towards her.

_Shit, shit, shit._

She screamed the words inside her head, but she kept her mouth shut.

Then she saw it, the stall was unlocked, he could just walk in if he wanted to. If only she hadn't of just thought that. That was a major jinx.

The sweat beads on her body remained at a stand still. She just waited for something to turn the entire thing to shit. And then it happened.

A hand touched the other side of the door and slowly pushed it opened as a face with glowing blue eyes looked inside and saw something she knew he'd never forget.

"I know what you do in here Audrey, don't think I haven't watched you and your husband ever since you starting coming to me. I knew something was up."

His first words paralyzed her for a brief moment before she tried to cover her body with the clothes in her hands. Baird just scanned her body up and down like a robot. He didn't have a defined look on his ace, just one of curiosity. Like the one he got when he got to inspect a broken piece of machinery.

_Holy shit, he can see everything... he's seen me naked now. Wait, he knows I've done this before, but how?_

He read her like and open book. He gave her a smile that quickly faded into his normal everyday look. "Don't worry about how I know that; just be happy I didn't have to ask you any questions."

Her heart beat became faster as her cheeks flushed a Crimson red.

"I know you want me, I know what you've gone through. I got my info from your squad mates. You intrigue me Sarah, more than _most_ machines do, and that's saying something."

Her entire face glowed red as Baird offered his hand to pull her down from the toilet. It was such an odd sight in itself, but at least they were alone.

"I may not have a lot to do with the chicks around here, but one who shares my love of machines is my kind of girl."

Sarah wasn't sure if he meant that metaphorically or truly to the fact that maybe he wanted her as well.

When her feet touched the cold floor she quickly tried to cloth herself but Baird stopped her as she pulled her shirt back on.

_Holy shit, did he just stop me?_

She had never felt her heart beat so fast in all her life, but she didn't want it to slow down, but she had to wait for the next move that would decide the rest of their night.

Maybe her dreams really were coming true, as crazy as it sounded.

She just wanted this moment to get better and last forever.

****Part 4****

The next thing she felt was a pair of hands grabbing her hips; her heart nearly leaped out of her chest from the sudden motion. Then she felt warm breath against her ear. "You know, this is the first time I've ever really shown any affection towards a girl."

Baird's whisper made her heart melt; she was about to explode from the sensation. But she wanted more, more touching and feeling, but she didn't want to surrender to him just yet. But wasn't that what she wanted all along?

Baird felt the sides of her body up and down as she suddenly felt his lips touch her neck, not kissing, just simply touching her hot skin, She automatically tilted her neck to the side as Baird brushed her hair to the other shoulder. Her skin was taut as the muscles in her neck tingled. Eventually Baird kissed at her neck teasingly as he felt his way down all the way to her shoulder.

His hands continued to glide up and down her waist until he went high enough to where he could feel the small bumps that were her nipples. His thumb and index finger played on the newly hardened bumps as Sarah arched herself against him.

_My god, don't let this stop... He... he's really doing this, this isn't a dream..._

"Personally, I don't think an asshole like James deserved you, I was always jealous that he had you... but what can I say, I am an asshole myself."

Baird bent down just enough to where he was level with her chest, he was still behind her so he just grabbed her and turned her to where she was in front of him. When he did she felt a sudden warmness around her left nipple.

Baird suckled on her gently as he continued to play with the other one with his fingers. Sarah was about ready to faint from the feeling, only because it was so overwhelming. He had wanted her; he had all along. Baird stopped as he stood up straight and begin to fondle her as he put his face dangerously close to hers; he teased her with a gentle bite on the bottom lip; pulling it and then letting it go just as gently.

Soon Baird ceased the teasing and met his lips with hers again, the kiss was rough but passionate but when he shoved his tongue inside her mouth Sarah lost all control and began to wrestle his with hers as they danced in each other's mouths.

She thought her mind had been foggy before, now she was in pure ecstasy. She could feel the heat and pleasure surge through her body but still she wanted more. She wanted _his._

When they broke away from each other's lips she was about ready to burst, and when she thought it was good as it would get for a while, then she felt a finger intrude her opening. Not fingering right away, but just lightly touching the skin around her opening. Then when he felt she was ready he stuck his finger inside her.

He could feel herself tighten around his finger; she was embarrassed and dazed all at once. He was _inside_ her,_ feeling_ her.

_I'm gonna fucking pass out, this is too much, but I don't want it to stop. Don't let it stop... Dear god, don't let it stop..._

As he rubbed his finger inside her feeling the soft, slippery tissue of her walls he then stuck in another finger as he made sure she was excepting of it. It didn't hurt at all, she was tight but she was just right for his large fingers.

When a few minutes passed he finally retracted his fingers. The entire time they had been standing up. Sarah could remember when she and James had done this, but not in the bathroom. They got time alone when they could find it, but that was long ago.

When they were in love, when everything didn't hurt, when looking each other in the eye didn't seem so painful to do. Making love was making love.

But she only thought back to the past for a minute before the feeling of the present grabbed her again, the sensation and heat coming off her body inside and out was enough to make her go crazy. Baird had taken his shirt off when he had stopped teasing her just long enough to remove it. His body was so fit, his muscles were enough to make any girl go gaga over him. But it wasn't just his body; it was his face, his voice, _everything_ about him was just so _right._

She looked him up and down until she came to a bulge protruding from his pants. His arousal showed clearly through the leather like material. Before she could think Sarah found her hands grabbing at his belt as she tried to remove it with her shaking hands. Baird's glided over hers as she looked up and hooked her eyes with his. As she looked at him she could hear the clanking and unbuckling sounds of metal against metal. They were taking it off together somehow. When they removed it completely Baird carefully tossed it onto the pile of clothes so it didn't hit the bare floor and make a loud sound.

When he looked back to her he carefully grabbed her and forced her down, but in a caring way, a loving way. Her body lay down against the hard bench, so instead Baird grabbed a clean towel from his locker and put it under her for more comfort. It wasn't great but it helped a bit. The bench was just low enough for Baird to get over her with his legs spread. When he did he met his lips with hers once again, tongue on tongue. After a moment Baird broke the kiss as he started to peck at her small body, he started at her neck and went all the way down her body, acknowledging her breast during his short journey, gently fondling them and pinching at her nipples.

Sarah arched her body upwards as Baird's hands played on her taut skin. His lips continued to kiss her all the way down until he reached delicate skin, then he stuck his tongue out and prodded her softly with it. It was warm and wet and it felt wonderful on sensitive skin. Baird kept licking and tasting her as he played with her clit with his index finger. He seemed to know how to make every move right and precise. Like he had practiced many, many times before.

Minutes passed, but it felt like it was forever, Sarah's breathing had reduced to pleasured filled wheezes that noted to Baird that she was ready to take him. He could just look at her and tell. He could see the want in her eyes. But _he_ wasn't quite ready.

Baird stood back up and unzipped his pants. Sarah quickly sat up and grabbed the stiff erection and pulled it out for him. Her hand was warm against the sensitive skin and before he could ask anything of her she pulled herself closer and opened her mouth and inserted it as her tongue played on the tip. She took in more, almost ready to swallow him whole; Baird just put a hand on her head as a gasp escaped his mouth. Then she started to suckle on him gently. She knew what she was doing. She knew quite well in fact.

Her mouth consumed his penis as more groans escaped him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head nearly before he shut them in pleasure. She was actually doing this. It wasn't a dream, it was real.

_He taste so... mmm... he taste like Baird..._

Then she tasted a salty substance against her tongue; it was precum. She didn't figure he would have ejaculated already. She removed his erection from her mouth as she gripped it just tight enough to give him enough pressure to make him go crazy; he was still rock hard, so yeah, it was precum.

When she looked up at him while she lightly licked at the tip she could see his eyes were still closed while his mouth was just barely open with small groans and moans escaping him every now and then. Maybe it took more to make him go crazy.

Eventually she stopped as Baird lay her back down, caressing her before he let her go. He stared at her for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth on her body.

He stayed silent as he bent back down and gently rubbed himself onto her opening. He was gentle but rough all at once. Then he looked back into her eyes.

"Are you okay with this?" The question almost made no sense in the position they were in; literally. Sarah just looked at him with her mouth slightly open.

"Yes, if you know me as well as you say, then you should know I've wanted this for quite a while." She smiled at him while fiery, hot passion burned in her eyes.

Baird stayed quite as he slowly slid his length into her; she let out a small moan of approval before he went any father inside her. She felt so tight around him, so warm and wet. It was amazing to feel a woman, and for her it was amazing to feel a man. At least it did to feel one again. This was like a dream, but it wasn't, it only felt so unreal because it was all happening so fast.

Baird started to thrust softly as she let out more moans. It had been so long since she had felt this kind of love and attention, but now she had it again.

Baird's thrust became more frequent as he put his face closer to hers and whispered in her ear. His warm breath made her spine tingle with another wave of heat that surged through her entire body.

"Sarah... you feel so good."

His words were so relaxed, it was like he was a completely different person apart from the normal asshole he always seemed to be portrayed as. Sarah knew that his good side had always been there. And she seemed to be receiving feelings that were probably buried way deeper.

All she knew was that she wanted this feeling to last forever, it was only a few minutes into intercourse but it felt like an eternity of ecstasy. It was amazing. It really was everything she ever wanted.

Baird kept increasing his thrusting as Sarah moaned louder and more frequently; they echoed throughout the bathroom. She could feel herself boiling over, she was ready to explode but she struggled to hold it in. She clenched her throbbing muscles only to find that it made Baird feel even more pleasure as he started to pound into her. Finally he heaved her up as he wrapped her legs around his waist and started to bounce her on him. It made it harder to hold it in but she didn't care at this point, she just waited for him now.

Sarah clawed at his back as he groaned loud enough to match her moans. He was going to break any moment now, and the whole time she had managed to keep from cumming. And then it came, a loud groan escaped Baird as he stopped and held her still, not pulling out. She didn't care right then either, she was lost in her little world again, the only thing she was aware of was the warm feeling inside her womb.

He had cum inside her, it was warm and satisfying. When he finished pumping his tightly shut eyes opened and his lips met hers once again in a furious mix of tongue and teeth.

"That was amazing... I never knew a girl felt that good."

Baird's voice was low as he panted; she could feel the slickness of sweat on his skin as her body remained wrapped around his. Finally he pulled out and sat her down on the bench.

Sarah tried to form words, but no words could describe this moment. Nothing would ever compare and nothing would ever feel the same. Her wish had been granted and it had left her stunned.

Baird just smiled at the panting Sarah in front of her as he cleaned himself up and put his pants back on and then his belt. He offered Sarah her bra and then her underwear as she took them and slowly slid them on.

She would never forget this night, and she hoped he never did either.

But there was one more question she needed an answer to.

Did this night together, the feelings, the emotions; everything.

Did it mean that they... _were?_


End file.
